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Happy New Year From The 1993-94 Washington Capitals

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Why yes, this is a Washington Wizards blog. But more importantly, I take an interest in all D.C. sports teams, including the Washington Capitals. As mentioned in a previous post pertaining to past sports memorabilia, I recently moved. And in the process of doing so, a calendar from the early 90s casual male stylings of hockey players in Washington, D.C. came to surface. It had to be shared, for my pleasure and yours. Not enough can be said about the pictures below, pages from a 1993-94 Caps team calendar … if I could sum them up with two words: hair and pleats. But I’ll try to do better than that. Happy New Year.

The girlfriend says… ‘Those jorts are so … jort.’

I say… ‘Why are Al Iafrate’s hands between his legs like that? Also, that posture is doing nothing for his haircut.’

Peter Bondra gets the hockey goal : baseball practice batting cage symbolism in the background, Iafrate gets a phallic symbol in the background.

Simple hockey calendar photographic protocol: put the Russian guy in front of rockets, put the guy from Quebec on a boat, push the shutter and move on.

I imagine when Dale Hunter told women at the bar that he liked to take long walks with horses, he would pull out this calendar as proof. Then he’d show them his calves.

And I always thought a shirt tucked into jeans without a belt was kind of hinky, but if anyone can pull it off with a red and white striped sleeve Tommy Hilfiger American flag(ish?) polo shirt, it’s Dave Poulin. Note: Poulin is from Canada.

Mike Ridley took a different route … an alternate belt and what appears to be an elasticized waist for that extra hold.

The GF, of course, noticed that Kelly Miller is advertising with bling on his left, vertically downward pointing hand: ‘Ladies, sorry, but I’m taken.’

A lot of what you need to know about Randy Burridge is that his nickname is “Stump” (via Wikipedia). The girlfriend says Burridge looks like he’s in an ad for a doctor’s office.

There’s a young boy, whose precious, fragile being was birthed under the iron fist of communism. Living in what was at the time known as Czechoslovakia, he had dreams, big dreams. They started with a pier, sailboats, sunshine, crossed arms and pleated pants. In between, the young boy grew up and got close to the water, the frozen variety, via hockey. With much success, he was selected by the professional hockey team in the capital of the United States of America and defected away from the control of Mother Russia’s Eastern Bloc. Ultimately, he would end his pro hockey career as one of the better players in Washington Capitals history. But more importantly, he got that dream. The dream that started with a pier near the water where lonesome reflection for all of your calendar date-keeping in February 1994 was fulfilled. That boy is Michal Pivonka.

It’s hard to tell what exactly is expressed on Rick Tabaracci’s face here. Initially, he reflects a look of concern for Vietnam war veterans. But I also feel he’s there to pick up ladies. I mean, you don’t wear an entire denim outfit just for a calendar photo shoot. You can kill two birds with one stone-washed pair of jeans.

Jason Woolley is wearing cologne named after a country music superstar while he imagines a bear dressed like a cowboy with a monkey on his shoulder helping an old lady cross the street so he can kind of smile for the picture. It worked.

Todd Krygier is giving financial advice, take it or leave it. Also, you must call him the Toddster.

“Hello, my name is Pat Elynuik. It’s a windy day and you caught me tying my shoe. How ’bout I stop and give you a smile near this patch of crappy grass? People hang out at this particular memorial commemorating Iwo Jima for various reasons … and I mean various reasons.”

Craig Berube ain’t going to lie, he has a convertible and often drops the top … blasting the likes of UB40, Soul Asylum (Runaway Train in particular after losses). Craig’s guilty pleasures are John Secada and Taylor Dayne.

Alan May takes pride in the fact that he and Alan Thicke share a first name.

Randy Acton drives a station wagon.

The GF says that she respects this team a little more since they all look like grown ups. I say Steve Konowalchuk has choked a man with a leg lock before.

This is kind of an anti-climactic one to end on, but that’s it.

Good luck to the Caps in the Winter Classic tonight. Now go read some great stuff about D.C. sports and the Caps from Dan Steinberg.


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